The U.S. Chamber of Commerce, trying to ward off potentially sweeping federal emissions regulations, is pushing the Environmental Protection Agency to hold a rare public hearing on the scientific evidence for man-made climate change.Oh, you mean the trial where a teacher was charged for a crime by the religious forces in his state because he had the nerve to teach factual scientific theory instead of the Bible? That Scopes Monkey Trial? The one that's sort of viewed as a blight on education and science in this country? Recent evolution trials haven't gone over too well for the God side either. I'm not sure that's the kind of thing you want to emulate. Maybe they all agree, because rest assured, the Chamber of Commerce was backing away from the statement the second they realized what had been said.
Chamber officials say it would be "the Scopes monkey trial of the 21st century" -- complete with witnesses, cross-examinations and a judge who would rule, essentially, on whether humans are warming the planet to dangerous effect.
"It would be evolution versus creationism," said William Kovacs, the chamber's senior vice president for environment, technology and regulatory affairs. "It would be the science of climate change on trial."
My “Scopes monkey” analogy was inappropriate and detracted from my ability to effectively convey the Chamber’s position on this important issue.No, that isn't quite right Mr. Kovacs. This isn't a case where you said something that's dishonest that you need to back away from it, this is a case where you said something so truthful you need to back away from it. The Scopes Monkey Trial is the perfect analogy you want to make. You wish to challenge overwhelming and nearly unified scientific consensus on the basis that it isn't what your bosses and the corporations you represent want to hear.
I believe the phrases you're looking for are "Global warming is just a theory", "the scientific consensus isn't fully formed", "sure there's global warming but it isn't man made and we can't do anything about it", "...uh sunspots something something", "it was cold out today, how can the planet be warming if it was cold out", or "Al Gore is fat." Come now, surely you know better than to clearly state what you believe and revel in scientific ignorance."New Scopes Monkey Trial". Rookie mistake.
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