Well, Gustav wasn't as bad as everyone feared. That means the convention's back on! At least until Hurricane Hanna hits Florida and the East Coast sometime on Thursday. You guys aren't having a good week. I almost feel sorry for you, I do. At least until I saw that video where some of the Republican state bigwigs, moments after saying we needed to take off our Republican hats (trucker cap with a crying eagle on it and the twin towers) and put on our American hats (trucker cap with a regular eagle on it), launched into some harangue about "You're seeing Republican governors and I think in Republican states, taking care of the citizens. That's what we do." I guess it's a sign of progress that you were even able to get the "American hats" line out without snorting. By the way, they're selling "American hats" at the concession stands in Minnesota, $20.08 and all proceeds go to the McCain Campaign.
Subplot to watch: whether the McCain campaign has successfully kept all the people from state Republican parties that churn out stuff like the "Black House" buttons, purple heart band aids, Obama sock monkeys, Obama is a Muslim mailings, and Obama/Osama T-shirts far enough away from podium. Given the way they vetted Sarah Palin, I doubt it.
Today is a day of mishmashed themes as some of yesterday's speakers are crammed into today. Yesterday's theme was supposed to be "Service" but morphed into "Not looking as if we're fiddling while something burns." Today's theme was "Reform", which I guess was going to be their attempt to talk about how we needed to reform this government....after eight years of Republican rule. Actually, they probably won't mention that second part. The theme is "Ser-form".
Speaker
President George W. Bush
They couldn't take their free gift and send him off to 'deal' with the hurricane, never to be seen in Minnesota or on national TV again. Cheney's officially been erased from memory already, a rumor that's told in hushed whispers in the bathroom stalls at the Xcel Energy Center. New Orleans didn't get destroyed this time so I'll imagine there will be preening and strutting on the part of G Dub. Barbara's boy doesn't make the same mistake twice. No official time schedule is out, but I can't imagine they'll be putting President 30% approval and 80% wrong track on in the 10-11 prime time network hour.
Speaker
Joe Lieberman, Independent "Democrat" Senator
The man with the electric personality machine turned all the way up to 11, Joe Lieberman! Oh yeah, the man that wowed as many as 3 Democrats in 2000 as their VP man, is going to allegedly excite the Republican base into a frenzy. Joe says he's only there to talk about why he's supporting McCain and not to attack Obama, but given the frequency this man actually tells the truth and his summer long attacks on Obama's patriotism and desire to see America lose, I wouldn't put any money on it. He should also be speaking in prime time.
Speaker
Fred Thompson, Fake TV Lawyer
The excitement twins: Lieberman and Thompson. Try to stay awake. Still trying to wind down from his alleged campaign for the Republican nomination, Fred Thompson will take the voice and ideas that spawned dozens of primary votes and use them to advocate for John McCain. Expect him to pretend that Law and Order was a documentary and spin folksy, Southern, legalese so hokey John Grisham wouldn't even hork it out. Try to remember that the guy who has starring roles in TV shows and hundreds of supporting roles in big movies isn't a celebrity, Barack Obama is. According to ABC News he is also speaking in the 10-11 hour.
Speaker
Rudy Giuliani, Mayor of 9/11
I'm sure he can shoehorn 9/11 into the speech a couple of times, but can he successfully wield the John McCain "noun, verb, POW" into any and every line? Maybe he can add to that "when 9/11 happened the first think he thought was "Thank God, George Bush is President"" story by cramming John McCain into it somehow. Maybe he thought "Thank God, George Bush is our President and in eight years I hope that John McCain will be our President, because he was a POW and knows how to fight terrorism." It's crass enough for a Giuliani speech. This was supposed to be the keynote address, but whether it was all timeshifted and changed up because of yesterday is uncertain.
EDIT: Now it seems Giuliani has been dropped from tonight's lineup.
All of this is subject to change, since none of this is really official, just pieced together from reports.
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