Steelers Week One

Pittsburgh Steelers running back Willie Parker. left, skirts Houston Texans linebacker Morlon Greenwood for his first touchdown in the first half of the NFL football game in Pittsburgh, Sunday, Sept. 7, 2008. (AP Photo/Keith Srakocic)

Oh NFL, you saucy bitch, you went and scheduled us a fifth preseason game. It's rare when you preface three touchdown drubbings as "not as close as the score indicated" but 38-17 doesn't quite do it justice. Up 35-3 at the end of the third quarter, we took out Roethlisberger, Parker, and Ward and then put in most of the second team defense. The Texans were able to rally for two late touchdowns against the second team, what those in the business call pity points. All the typical Steelers high points were there, stifling defense, dominating run game, and a pinpoint passing attack. We even got a few surprises like competent, nay good, offensive line work and good special teams coverage. It all makes me look forward to next week when we take a "This is gonna be our year" Cleveland Browns team and crush the hopes of their fanbase on their own turf. Nope, it's still our year. It's always our year.

Things of Note

• Lamar Woodley and James Harrison are king and tyrants of the defense. That was some massive pressure and brutal Schaub-rattling hits. Woodley damn near murdered Schaub in the first quarter and Harrison netted two sacks with the Texans first year goober LT piggybacking a ride every down.
  
• Speaking of Schaub, he must have been confused as to the team he played for. Those two picks were staggering monuments to terror filled, happy footed stupidity. Polamalu and Woodley were standing in front of your receivers and you threw them anyway.
• There must have been a buffet line in the Texans backfield 'cause Casey Hampton kept going back for seconds. That or Houston decided to go with the region's smallest girl scout at center.
• Nice to see you back Willie. It was rough going with Najeh in there at the end of last year. You already have more touchdowns than you did last year and you look like you can run between the tackles with some oomph now. For the love of God stay healthy.
  
• Heath Miller. Throw to him more.
  
• Hey CBS, it's nice you opened a restaurant that's inaccessible to everyone outside of Foxboro, but could you stop talking about it and show highlights of games? I don't need to see a longer halftime highlight piece on the opening of the CBScene than on the highlights of the sport I'm allegedly trying to watch. Randy Cross is enough of a mushmouthed idiot without having to see him scramble to cram restaurant plugs into his boneheaded commentary.
• NFL Red Zone, I like you I really do. When the networks cut to commercial it's very helpful to go over and see every score, stats for every game, and get radio updates and play by play. But what were you doing with the city abbreviations? There's a time tested method for these. St Louis is STL not SL, Baltimore is BAL not BLT, and Houston is HOU not HST. We've figured it out, you don't need to trailblaze new frontiers for us.
• Tom Brady might be out for the year with a leg injury. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA *breath* HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Boy, thi...HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! I hope they have to saw it off and put and oak table leg in its place.