Tuesday, June 8, 2010

You wouldn't like Barry when he's angry

Much of the anger directed at President Obama over this whole massive oil catastrophe has been over his perceived lack of tangible, screaming, shaking his fist at the sky anger. Because apparently they expected Obama's calm, measured... almost comatose behavior in the face of nearly any obstacle or event would somehow now change. But that's what we, as a country, have decided to get mad at the President over. You know, instead of that thing where he continued the policy of dangerous deference and hiring industry cronies to look after the industry they were meant to me regulating.

But now you may be getting your wish: competent regulation of the oil industry MAD OBAMA! Yes, the man has practically shown a tangible emotion. And that emotion is rage! Sure it's deeply buried under what almost seems like a medicated calm, but it's there. Obama is pissed.
"I was down there a month ago before most of these talking heads were even paying attention to the Gulf," Obama told NBC's Matt Lauer. "I was meeting with fishermen in the rain talking about what a potential crisis this could be."I talk to these folks because they potentially have the best answers -- so I know whose ass to kick," the president said.
After that he dramatically put his sunglasses on, took the lit cigarette from his mouth, said something about the oil being as black as BP CEO Tony Hayward's heart, flicked the cigarette into the pool of oil that Hayward was standing in, and then laughed as the flames engulfed his tortured screams. Then as the President walked away slowly he cocked his shotgun and said he was coming for the CEO's of Transocean and Halliburton.

Oh no, he wasn't done yet. Barry then talked about how he would have fired Hayward after he made all those idiotic statements about "wanting his life back" and how the oil spill was small... when compared to the entirety of the water contained in the world's oceans. Obama then knocked BP's corner cutting safety measures and how he hasn't talked to Hayward because he's not interested in the CEO's cheap words... he's interested in action.

So there we are, the President is maaaaaaaaaad. It only took several weeks, but now he's using curse words on the TV. Soooooo... I guess everything is fixed now? No? But the news said he needed to get mad. Maybe he has to say "fuck" to Katie Couric, slug a Saudi sheik in the jaw, and go desecrate the grave of Edwin Drake. Then we'll be on the right track.

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