Monday, June 21, 2010

Stay classy, Stevesy

Glenn Beck's 9/12 Project hasn't gone away. You know, that thing where we're all supposed to return to the mindset we had the day after 9/11: panicked, fearful, and willing to sacrifice virgins into volcanoes and gut our Constitution in order to feel a tiny bit safer. But apparently they've moved on from being a vague movement about feelings to teaming up with tea partiers to show their support for Arizona's "Walknig while Latino" law.

People inspired by the words of Glenn Beck and tea baggers joining forces to bag of Mexicans? I wonder who they would get to speak at that event? Turns out the answer is terminally retarded blowhard Rep Steve King (R-IA). What did he have to say? First he made the Jong-il like boast that he alone possessed fence technology to stop Santa Anna's new invasion.
King told the gathering of over 100 people that he could build a border wall that would ensure “not [even] a cockroach” could get across.
I think we know what "cockroaches" he's talkin' about. La cucarachas! HAW HAW HAW!

Any other bright ideas?
King said that under only one circumstance does he support amnesty for illegal immigrants: “Every time we give amnesty for an illegal alien, we deport a liberal.”
HAW HAW HAW! Then them liberals can go to their beloved Mexico which they love so much they are letting it assault our freedoms and pick the blossoming fruit of liberty for sub-minimum wages.

Of course after dropping those two Oscar Wilde-esque bon mots from in front of a Truck Nuts billboard, it was of course time for questions from the audience. Which means he was asked about some conspiracy theory. I wonder how he handled this?
QUESTION: I keep reading that Obama keeps bringing small quantities of Muslims into this country. Why can’t Congress stop that?

KING: You know, I don’t know what the basis is of that. I wouldn’t be surprised that that is the real factual basis. ... I appreciate you making the point. I will try to watch it.
Yup, President Hussein Obama X, the Last Imam hisself, is personally smuggling Muslims into this country. Probably on Air Force One, Sea Force One, or Hot Air Balloon Force One. Small quantities.. cells if you will... setting them up across the country... preparing them for the day after the UN black helicopters steal everyone's guns... then: The United Islamic Caliphate of America. OH I KNEW IT WAS COMING!

Most people would respond to an accusation that the PResident was smuggling Muslims into the country with a nicely placed "Shut the fuck up you crazy and don't get your deluded insanity secretions on me... I hear that's how you spread it" before casually flipping off the audience. Not Steve "Iowa's Pride" King. No, he does his best to confirm that's what he's heard as well and then thanks the person for bringing it to his attention and assures them he'll keep an eye on it. That's how turn crazy into votes.... a probably some future Ruby Ridge style FBI standoff.

Way to keep it classy, Steve. I eagerly await your House Special Committee on The President Who Done What Smuggled All Them Moozlams Into Our Fine Country.

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