Branching out

We've all said this phrase out loud over the past few years: "Boy, I just love the way Blackwater/Xe indiscriminately shoots civilians, acts outside the law, is a secretive extra-legal mercenary force, and generally acts like the evil secret army of a Bond villain. I wonder if I can get a mug or t-shirt or a few rounds of ammunition with their logo on it?" Well, Christmas has come early.

At the Blackwater Pro Shops in Fayetteville, North Carolina and Salem, Connecticut, you can “purchase clothing and equipment emblazoned with the logo,” the Solider Systems blog explains. ”If that doesn’t get your blood pumping you can also try out your new firearms at their indoor range.”

There’s already an online store selling all sorts of swag — from a “BW Cosmopolitan Pilsner Glass” to a Blackwater cap.

They also sell shoes, in case you want some SWAT tactical boots or a nice pair of Merrell's for that hike with your sweetie. You can also get a nice water bottle, a Blackwater Camp Integrity long sleeve shirt, or a BW-15... the custom AR-15 produced by Blackwater that comes with a matched upper and lower receiver, a 16 inch chrome lined M-4 cut barrel with standard handguard, 4 to 6 position collapsible stock, and a detachable carry handle. You can also customize what accessories you want on the gun. I'm going with the gas block mounted front sight, Carbine Omega rail, single point sling attachment, and the thing where I can shoot carloads of Iraqi's and not face any legal punishment.

So if you were looking for a little something that screams "I support lawless mercenary organizations", you're in luck. No longer will you have to bootleg Blackwater t-shirts or scrawl the amateurish paw logo into all your weapons. You can buy that shit direct now. Help them out with a few bucks as business is rough what with everyone knowing and reviling their name. They really need to improve their bottom line to get Eric Prince the best price possible on their upcoming sale. Maybe Steve Jobs can buy it, as I've often thought Blackwater wasn't secretive or vindictive enough.