Friday, June 4, 2010

Nice shilling

Now that BP has almost completely devastated the Gulf Coast (full devastation won't be reached until next week) you begin to see why the oil giant has spent so much money over the years buying off a great number of politicians. Excuse me, I mean "making campaign contributions". Because while to everyone else with a functioning set of eyes and a working moral compass, this looks like a massive environmental disaster. If you've gotten millions of dollars from oil companies, you are struggling to understand why this little snafu has even gotten any media attention.

Mississippi Gov. Haley Barbour (R) has gotten $1.8 million from Big Oil and is out there aggressively downplaying the damage even as his state is starting to be covered in oil. Virginia Gov. Bob McDonnell (R) is out there attempting to bring this kind of environmental devastation to Virginia's shores. And Texas Cockknocker Rick Perry (R) would rather blame God than BP for the oil spill.

Let's add Rep. Don Young (R-AK) to the list of people whose BP check cleared.
Young said: “This is not an environmental disaster, and I will say that again and again because it is a national phenomena. Oil has seeped into this ocean for centuries, will continue to do it. During World War II there was over 10 million barrels of oil spilt from ships, and no natural catastrophe. … We will lose some birds, we will lose some fixed sealife, but overall it will recover.”
Yeah, when I look at these pictures of animals in peril or the ruined coasts and marshes, the first thing I think is "Clearly, this is not an environmental disaster. What is everyone whining about anyway?"

But maybe we should pause and pity these poor politicians. I mean after all, our livelihood as gormless political hacks isn't held in the hand of an oil executive with an open checkbook, or that in order to get elected in Alaska I have to essentially swear a blood oath to the black dinosaur blood that fuels our cars, or the fact that some lobbyist probably has photos of me engaging in that dark ritual with its masks, animal sacrifices and nude dancing. We're allowed to view reality objectively.

So, nicely shilled Don. Tony Hayward will personally pat you on the head and toss you a treat. Word of advice: don't say that to anyone whose livelihood or home has been ruined by the spill. They're likely to beat you to death or drown you in the open oil pit that used to be a body of water.

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