Broken In Brief: Chechnya ushers in new era of pieces, horribly bloody pieces

NAZRAN--A year ago, this capitol of the Republic of Ingushetia was enjoying what passes for a peaceful time in the Northern Caucasus mountains. With only 150 people killed by small skirmishes and suicide bombings, Nazran was in danger of becoming the crown jewel of a rebuilt, or slightly less rubble-like, Chechnya.

However, this summer has seen a proud return to form, with 436 dead and untold thousands wounded between June and August, according to police records most suggest are not nearly generous enough. But still, many fear that without increased effort on the part of both the Russian military and Chechen insurgents, the region will begin to stabilize.

"What else do we have to do?" wailed militia leader Yuri Baev. "A year ago, everyone was worried about the lack of road craters and shrapnel embedded in the walls and occupants of homes. This year, we put extra nails in every pipe bomb, switched to hollow point ammunition, poisoned every dove we came across, even started shooting the dogs. The dogs! Will nothing please you people?"

Baev then yelled exasperatedly "What's a man gotta do to get some fucking depleted uranium shells around here? I personally witnessed an emaciated woman walking around yesterday who had only a mild look of utter desperation on his face. A mild look? We're failing to crush hearts and minds here."

For its part, Russia has promised to dust off malfunctioning Cold War-era artillery and begin handing it out to young children. This, according to Ramzan A. Kadyrov, Russia's hand-picked President of Chechnya, "Should have the body count up to acceptable levels by the October. November at the latest. We will not let this flirtation with peace and stability stand!"