You misheard them

Hey, remember when all those Republican politicians were all like "Drill, Baby, Drill", were openly advocating for offshore drilling as basically being our sole energy policy, held entire rallies, speeches, and interviews advocating for offshore drilling, made offshore drilling the central pillar of their energy policy and environmental negotiations, and were all like "drink a glass of offshore oil with every breakfast"? No? That right, because it never happened. You hear me? IT NEVER HAPPENED!!!!

In the wake of the massive BP oil spill, Senate Republicans are disowning the catchphrase “Drill, Baby, Drill,” claiming that Republicans never endorsed it. Sen. Jon Kyl (R-AZ) and Sen. Pat Roberts (R-KS) attempted to distance themselves and their party from the phrase yesterday, pretending not to know who popularized it, and dismissing the slogan

“That was not a Senate Republican phrase,” Kyl said. “I think there was a candidate that used that. I think our phrase was ‘drill here, drill now,’ meaning here in the United States and as quickly as oil and gas leases are going.”

Roberts said Republicans were always uneasy with the catchphrase.

“I don’t know about the slogan. The slogan was what, two, three years ago and basically we had a lot of opposition to it anyway.”

......Right. Who could possibly ever remember the Presidential candidate and the woman VP candidate who would shout it almost as much as they shouted "Maverick" (another phrase which we recently learned had never actually been uttered)? Who could remember the swaths of supporters chanting it or the GOP lawmakers who also adopted the slogan and made the policy behind that slogan a pillar of their ideology?

Oh, I'm sorry, their slogan was "Drill here, drill now". That's completely different than "Drill, baby, drill". I don't even think "Drill here, drill now" even references offshore oil drilling. I think it has something to do with support for Dentistry.

So please, don't try to tie this around the necks of the GOP like a giant albatross. I mean who can remember, in all this confusion, who advocated for drilling where and when? I mean that whole "Drill, baby, drill" thing was so 15 minutes ago. Literally, 15 minutes ago. Who can remember back to mid-morning? What's important to remember is that no one ever heard of or spoke of offshore drilling in any way that could be construed as support before this disaster happened. In fact, what's offshore drilling? What's oil? Where am I? Who are you?