Raaaaaaaaaaandy

This post-primary period has been tough for Ran Paul. When everyone in the national media rushes to point out how childish your ideology is when it's said out loud and you have to spend all your time backtracking and assuring people that you want black people to vote, things aren't going great. Then the libertarians completely back away from you and Senate Minority Whip and fellow Kentuckian Republican Mitch McConnell starts intimating that you need to seriously consider shutting the fuck up and going away.

So what does one do to shore up these mistakes and prove your libertarian, Constitution loving bona fides? By advocating for insanely expensive methods of capturing Mexicans and opining how you'd love it if someone would pass a law that violated the 14th Amendment. Naturally.

I recently have been talking more about satellite observation. They say you can sit in front of the store here and a satellite can read the headline on your newspaper. So I think you could also monitor your border with satellites, and then you just have to have some means of intercepting people who come in illegally. You could have helicopters stations positioned every couple of hundred miles. . .

We’re the only country I know of that allows people to come in illegally have a baby and then that baby becomes a citizen. And I think that should stop also.

Hey nothing says libertarian quite like government agencies using spy satellites to direct surveillance and black helicopter brigades to anyone suspicious on the border. But it's nice to know that a man who admits to getting nude and rubbing himself down with the Bill of Rights and feels that before passing a piece of legislation Congress “should point to where in the Constitution they get the authority for it” has no qualms with passing a law that directly violates the Constitution. I just wonder what part of the Constitution he's going to point to when he tries to pass this "Fuck you, freeloading babies" Law. Maybe he'll fake a siezure or claim he was being asked "gotcha" questions.

I guess that libertarian/strict constructionist line of thought goes out the window when it either deals with issues that affect Rand himself or deals with Mexican bashing making it easier for him to get elected.

Ah, but we're talking as if gross hypocrisy and appearing to be a little bit racist against blacks and Mexicans is actually a negative in a Kentucky political contest. He's ahead right now anywhere from 3 points to 25 points. We at TB Industries look forward to Raaaaaaaaaaandy dragging down the intelligence level of the US Senate. We didn't think that was possible.