Thursday, May 6, 2010

Cheap Blogging Crutch - 5.6.10

Welcome back, my fiends. I hope you're not still reeling from another exciting day at the dog track. It's times like these when I fail to understand why you investment-minded folk out there don't just bet your paycheck on Papa's Moustache in the 3rd. I suspect the ROI is about the same. Warning: Here Be Linkage.

After some legwork, The Atlantic's Andrew Sullivan confirmed that in Britain, you can, in fact, vote drunk. At long last, this explains how that country ever found Margaret Thatcher an attractive option.

Today on Don Imus' show, Glenn Beck refused to endorse Arizona batshit insane Republican senate candidate, J.D. Hayworth, agreeing with Imus that Hayworth is a "fat, undisciplined maggot." All this after arguing the other day that the NYPD was right to mirandize Times Square bomber Faisal Shahzad. Can we please get Beck off of whatever medication he is on? I don't want to live in a world where he even comes close to making sense.

A police officer in the 81st precinct of Brooklyn's Bedford-Stuyvesant surreptitiously recorded fellow officers and superiors between June 2008 and October 2009. The tapes showed a systematic manipulation of crime statistics and civil liberties at the behest of commanding officers that makes The Wire's Baltimore look like Mayberry. Naturally, the NYPD responded by detaining the whistleblowing officer and whisking him off for psychiatric evaluation.

For the past 18 months, the meeting room in Nebraska's Adams County courthouse has been adorned, as is traditional, with portraits of both Gov. Dave Heineman and President Barack Obama. The catch? Obama's portrait was not an official one but this notorious fake. County Supervisor Eldon Orthmann, who is responsible for the photo, has relented and will replace it with one featuring the president in full Kenyan Chieftain garb, drinking heartily from the severed throat of a white Christian infant.

And finally, our intrepid research staff has uncovered a photo of the male prostitute hired by heavy luggage-toting anti-gay zealot George Alan Rekers. It seems Rev. Rekers specifically requested the Mythical Creature Package. (Mythical Creature's Package?)

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