Broken in Brief: Whole goddamn neighborhood air-conditioned

ATLANTA-Residents of the Firebush Street section of the Haber Heights community must have awoken in complete fucking shock today as they found out that, contrary to the recent uptick in temperatures, their entire goddamn neighborhood had been goddamn air-conditioned to a cool, comfortable 65 degrees.

Authorities point to the source of this goddamn development being a local residence where the fucking door had been left open for 10 fucking minutes, causing the entire goddamn temperature transference.

Sources close to the home in question have revealed that an area man Tom Caruthers’ ingrate children had left said goddamn door open and this was not the first fucking time it had happened either.

Sources further reveal that this man, who works his ass off for a goddamn living, has repeatedly told his damn kids that this air-conditioning shit isn’t free and that they don’t know the goddamn value of a goddamn dollar or what it’s like to work for a goddamn living.

But that is of little value to neighborhood residents who are enjoying the cool temperatures and don’t even give a shit about the struggles Caruthers has to go through to put fucking food on the fucking table. They’re just a bunch of moochers just like his goddamn kids who don’t fucking listen.

According to estimates from the local energy concern, this is going to cost a fucking fortune and Caruthers isn’t made of fucking money. Furthermore if this happens one more goddamn time, Caruthers has claimed he’ll call up the local heating and cooling place and have them haul away the fucking air conditioner and then he’ll see how everyone likes it then.

According to neighbors, these threats have been taken with a grain of salt and Mr. Caruthers feels like he’s talking to a brick fucking wall. As of press time the goddamn front fucking door is still fucking open.