Monday, May 10, 2010

Understatement of the day

Well, the effort to throw up a cap onto the underground oil leak has failed... is failing.... hasn't failed but will... let's just say it isn't going well. Why? Well there was an apparent buildup of of methane hydrates, a crystallized form of methane which has already been blamed for possibly causing the initial... you know what? I don't understand any of this. Magic. Magic is what caused the spill. Magic is what is preventing a fix. Magic. Also, possibly some sort of undersea rebellion/terrorism/Sea War by marine wildlife -perhaps led by Sebastien the sea crab- which I think you'll agree, also qualifies as magic.

Anyway, when confronted with this fact, a spokesman dropped this little bon mot about the capping efforts and laced it with all the optimism he possibly could.
When asked whether the dome effort had "failed," the BP official said, "I wouldn’t say it has failed, yet... but it hasn't worked."
Ooh, you can just feel the sunshine and smiles wafting off that statement. Gotta love that "yet".

So buck up, America. Sure, the one idea they had to cap the massive oil gush didn't work and the main PR guy for BP, sent out to make everyone feel better and cover BP's asses, basically dressed in an undertaker's outfit and started playing a funeral march for the Gulf/efforts to get us to a point where we'd just have to worry about cleaning up the biggest environmental disaster in human history. On the other hand... I'm sure something will be along shortly to distract our news media from having to focus on that.

Oh look, the new Supreme Court pick...

No comments: