Monday, May 17, 2010

Broken in Brief: Inspirational speech leads group to raise their weapons into the air and go "yaaaaaaaaah"

MOMENTS BEFORE THE BIG BATTLE—Today the leader of a local resistance movement informed his ragtag group of fighters that the final battle was at hand. In a speech that many observers felt was “inspirational”, “rousing”, and “kind of familiar”, the leader told the group that they needed to band together and fight for what they believed in.

The group, which had been under attack by a larger, better equipped force for weeks, had come to symbolize for many the struggle of the weak against the strong, as well as some form of science and technology versus religion and faith, the good old ways against the bad new ways, colonialism, class struggles, and any numerous other forms of conflict.

In the speech, those assembled were informed that the other larger group had thought they could just come in and impose their will onto the smaller group. The band of scrappy but lovable malcontents was informed that this was not, in fact, what was going to happen. No, what was going to happen was that they were going to stand up and fight even though the odds were long and that they, the smallish group of put upon lower classes, would triumph over the larger group, who they assumed were richer and well off and probably the British government or an American corporation.

Only then, said the leader, would they know freedom and finally be free to exercise it in the manner with which they wanted; whether it be to use or not use technology, believe in or not believe in a new God or Gods, live apart from or within the larger society as a whole, have their own country, be left alone, or do whatever it is the group was trying to do.

At the conclusion of this speech the leader said that while they might lose or even die, that the other group would not be able to take their freedom/land/beliefs and that together, this group would show the other group, which might have been a fascist regime or evil aliens, what it meant to be free/that this was their land.

At which point everyone raised their weapons into the air and screamed “Yaaaaaaaah!”

As of press time no one is sure what happened during the pitched fight, but it is though that the groups small size and relative technological inferiority, initially thought to be hindrances to their fight, turned out to be strategic advantages that, combined with the fervency of their cause, helped win them the battle.

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