Tuesday, May 18, 2010

Rush asks the important questions

If there's one thing that we've learned over the past few days it that BP certainly isn't responsible for that giant, massive oil spill. Transocean, the offshore drilling company, isn't responsible either. Neither is good 'ole Halliburton, the services contractor who thought they were probably not getting into anything controversial when they signed on for this duty. How do we know this? Because all three basically explained that it wasn't their fault during their pathetic, fumbling testimony last week.

So someone else is to blame and some else is responsible for paying for all the cleanup and the animal carcass removal and the physical rehab for people getting repetitive stress disorders from shaking their heads in disbelief at this whole ordeal. This much is clear. But who? After a week of spitballing theories amongst the Bunsen burners and beakers full of different color liquids in his bullshit lab, El Rushbo is coming double barrel at who he thinks the real culprit is. I think you'll be pleasantly surprised.
"When do we ask the Sierra Club to pick up the tab for this leak?" Limbaugh asked
Uhhh.... I'm at a loss on this one. Is the answer "When the Sierra Club spills millions of barrels of oil into a large body of water?" Is that when? No? Now? Maybe you're going to have to explain what I'll generously describe as "the logic" on this one, Rush.
The environmental group has been driving oil producers off the land to "way, way, way offshore," into more high-risk situations. According to Limbaugh, the oil companies have had no choice but to drill for oil one mile underwater.
Ah yes, the Sierra Club has forced oil companies to drill for deep sea oil all the way out in the deep sea. Christ, why can't these envirowhacko hippies let the oil companies drill for deep sea oil in a place that's easy, like an mystical oil fountain in a field of marshmallows. Why do they have to move all the deep sea oil out into the deep fucking sea. That place is really difficult to get oil out of!

So, in case you were thinking of giving money to the Sierra Club, because of their stance on protecting the environment and trying to get laws passed to protect us from these kinds of massive ecological nightmares... regulations the oil companies help block, don't. You're just enabling the Sierra Club to cause more of these oil spills... evidently. Better to give it to the oil companies. It doesn't have to be a direct donation to BP, you'll just end up spending it when the gas prices are inevitably jacked following "supply issues".

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