Cheap Blogging Crutch - 5.18.10

Further glorious details here.

I was walking past one of Brooklyn's many mental institutions the other day. Several patients were standing outside chanting "Thirteen! Thirteen!" I walked over and peered through the chainlink fence to try and figure out what was going on. All of a sudden a mop handle shot through the fence and caught me right in the eye. The patients begin chanting "Fourteen! Fourteen!"

In today's THERE IS NO GOD news, Bristol Palin's people announced she will be paid up to $30,000 in speaking fees per engagement. Before you get your Irish up, allow me to make the argument that she is eminently qualified for this very public role. After all, she is the daughter of a materialistic, dishonest political train wreck and managed to compromise a presidential campaign by popping out a kid while she was still in high school. Not to mention the fact that... eh, do I really need a third?

Elvis Costello has joined Carlos Santana and Gil Scott-Heron in canceling scheduled performances in Israel. Costello cited Israel's "intimidation" and "humiliation" of Palestineans. After what went down with Professor Noam earlier this week, does anyone else smell a Costello-Chomsky collaboration in the works?

St. Joe Biden, Patron of Drunk Uncles at Holiday Parties, made light of his "big fucking deal" comment at a rally in Cedar Rapids today. Watch as Papa Joe goes from being "embarrassed as hell," to thanking the Almighty for killing his mother, to pondering why everyone finds the comment so amusing, to bragging about the pile of money the phrase has made Organizing for America. I don't even think he paused to blink while doing this.

On a more personal plug note, TheseBastards friends and occasional co-conspirators, Cry Fire, are finalists in the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette's "Pittsburgh Rocks" contest. While whether or not Pittsburgh does rock is a matter for debate, Cry Fire's lead guitarist and bassist personally guaranteed me that if I mentioned the contest in this forum, they would play their next gig pantsless. Go here and vote for Cry Fire.

Finally, I leave you with the Mr. Barry Popularity and Russian Putin hand puppet President Dmitry Medvedev, pondering whether or not they'd hit it. I'm sure you'll agree that, they would, in fact, hit it.