Thursday, October 9, 2008

The NSA knows your sex euphemisms

Exclusive: Inside Account of U.S. Eavesdropping on Americans
Despite pledges by President George W. Bush and American intelligence officials to the contrary, hundreds of US citizens overseas have been eavesdropped on as they called friends and family back home, according to two former military intercept operators who worked at the giant National Security Agency (NSA) center in Fort Gordon, Georgia....

She said US military officers, American journalists and American aid workers were routinely intercepted and "collected on" as they called their offices or homes in the United States....

Faulk says he and others in his section of the NSA facility at Fort Gordon routinely shared salacious or tantalizing phone calls that had been intercepted, alerting office mates to certain time codes of "cuts" that were available on each operator's computer.
Who could ever have foreseen that unfettered access to American's phones would result in abuse by the government and invasion of privacy? Though I'm sure it was beneficial to US homeland security efforts. Knowing how to differentiate Red Cross cock talk from soldier's verbal dongsmanship and Doctors Without Borders themed audio cosplay is critical to catching and prosecuting terrorists. Surely the database of fucking metaphors and vagina codewords will prove invaluable.

Rest assured though, this is only happening with people overseas who use satellite phones. Honest. There is no way that this exact same thing is happening within the US. Take their word for it, because there's no way you can actually sue for it or have any legal recourse or do anything other than take their word for it. So next time you tell your girlfriend over the phone that you want her to put her mouth on your Michael Hayden before you telcom immunity her ECHELON, some hayseed at Fort Gordon is making a tape of it. So try to make it entertaining for him.

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