Job of the day

Due to the economy collapsing and everyone losing their jobs, we find it is our duty to notify our almost assuredly destitute and jobless audience of impending job opportunities. Today's opportunity? Let me ask you this: do you like greasy chain pizza? Do you like talking about it on the internet in 140 characters or less?

JOB TITLE Summer Twintern

JOB TITLE, TRANSLATED A summer intern who uses Twitter.

JOB CATEGORY Hot pizza/social media

SALARY Competitive (with other Twitterers).

JOB PURPOSE To attend advertising shoots, product meetings and other corporate events. “They’ll be our social media journalist, chronicling in 140 characters or less what’s going on at Pizza Hut,” said Bob Kraut, the vice president for marketing communications at the company. The Twintern must also play social-media defense, monitoring Twitter for any mentions of the brand and alerting superiors whenever anything negative about the Hut is being said.

Now there are conditions. You have to hate yourself, you have to subsume your own identity for one that worships at the altar of "the Hut", and you have to move to Dallas....because tweeting about the Meat Lover's Deluxe has to be done with the supervision of a manager within the corporate structure of an office. You can start mailing in applications today. Happy job hunting.