Itinerary

The G-20 meetings in London are underway as of this morning and after all the world leaders are done pulling off their 'months in the making' April Fools pranks they'll get down to talking some tough platitudes about issues facing the world. What's on Obama's menu? Hang out with the Queen, an appearance with the guy who'll probably be running the UK later this year, meetings with the two biggest attention whores, Russia and China, who want to monopolize his time with their issues, and then the big important G20 meet and greets. Also on today's schedule for Barry:

• Walk by Argentina and South Africa, tell them you're too busy to talk to them. Laugh privately about it while you're in the bathroom conducting that "important business".
• Wonder if everyone else is jealous just because the US and Japan came out with their own branded sports drink: G2.
• Turn down parking lot BJ from Gordon Brown.
  
• Eye up the room, judging the participants for tonight's post-dinner all-leader orgy. Total sausage fest.
• Listen to China talk about moving to a standard currency for global transactions. Relay story about Michelle Bachmann and her fears of Chinese money on American streets. Watch as China gets eerily quiet. Dear God, was she right?
• Three way Judo exhibition with Putin and brown bear.
• Awkward elevator ride with Mexico. Dontmentiondrugwar dontmentiondrugwar dontmentiondrugwar.
• Bump into Gordon Brown in halls, explain there's no need for him to feel ashamed about earlier. Apologize for the fact that the DVD's you gave him during his US visit were the wrong region. Promise to get him a correct set soon, but deep down know that David Cameron is going to be the one getting those DVD's.
• Break out "Doing World Leader shit" excuse to wife. Works even better than "Doing Presidential shit" and "I'm sorry I can't talk about us, I have this little thing called the economy to fix."
• Run into South Korea and Indonesia. Who let them in here? Mutter to Sarkozy about stricter membership requirements.
• Promise to Andrea Merkel there will be no forthcoming awkward back rubs/bad touching. It's OK for her to come out of her room.
• Depressing talk about economy. Listen to 19 different versions of "We're waiting for the US to act decisicely" speech.
• Kill anybody who mentions Paul Krugman.
• Head back to hotel. Sleep.