Good morning, we're all going to die

Here we were thinking this financial/economic crisis was going to bring the world to it's swift end. Nope. Should have seen the classic the Stand superflu angle coming down the pike. Who's to blame? Mexico, Mexican pigs, and Mexicans who kiss sick pigs on the mouth. Swine flu. It sounds funny and it'll kill us all.

Governments are racing to find and contain pockets of swine flu around the globe, seeking to stem both the threat of a pandemic and public panic.

"We're preparing in an environment where we really don't know ultimately what the size or seriousness of this outbreak is going to be," U.S. Homeland Security Secretary Janet Napolitano said Sunday.

In Mexico, the outbreak's epicenter, soldiers handed out 6 million face masks to help stop the spread of the novel virus that is suspected in up to 103 deaths.
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There is not a global pandemic yet, but waiting until scientists know if the new virus is going to spread rapidly and easily would be too late.

It's not a pandemic....yet. Everyone says not to panic.....yet. But the signs are there. We've declared a public health emergency, the WHO is talking about "pandemic potential", and Europeans are being urged to avoid North America lest they get caught up in an EU backed mission to wall up the continent and burn everything inside. It's already spread to NYC, Texas, Canada, and California, and by the end of summer the remnants of society will be collecting in Boulder or Las Vegas to wage apocalyptic battle against one another.

If there's one silver lining it's that the flupocalypse has distracted is from financial Ragnarok. In fact, we can even blame plunging markets on flu fears. This should even provide a boost to our flagging newspaper and fear mongering industries. I can already smell the thousands of "How to Save Your Loved Ones From the Pig Virus", the "PANIC!!!!!", and "Don't Panic!!!!!!" articles churning up. The other silver lining? I made money on a bet that our flu based end would be mammal related, not avian. So, you know, I'll be pretty well of as I try to rebuild society early next year. Which is nice.