Broken In Brief: Cheney blasts Obama over swine flu, three injured

UNDISCLOSED LOCATION--Continuing his assault against the new administration, former Vice President Dick Cheney accused President Obama of stoking fears about a mythical Swine Flu in order to distract people's attention from his creeping socialist agenda.

Appearing on Meet The Press yesterday, Cheney characterized Obama's handling of the burgeoning Swine Flu outbreak as "A transparently cynical attempt to manipulate the American people through baseless threats of apocalyptic scenarios."

As the Obama administration approaches its 100th day in office, many political figures are weighing in on its progress to date. Mr. Cheney has been at the forefront of the conservative condemnation of Obama's stance on everything from national security to the economy to judicial appointments. Near the end of Sunday's interview, Cheney appeared to begin frothing at the mouth. He then also accused the Obama administration of rigging an energy bill to benefit campaign donors, exploiting homosexuality as a wedge issue during elections, commanding Sen. Patrick Leahy to perform an anatomically impossible sexual maneuver, and shooting a 78 year-old man in the face.

As the resulting shockwave of pure hypocrisy knocked MTP host David Gregory from his chair, shattered nearby glass, caused massive internal bleeding and organ damage to three interns, and buckled the structural foundation of the studio, Cheney surveyed the damage, smiled, kissed his biceps, and was heard to approvingly mutter to himself that he's "still got 'it'."