Broken In Brief: Fox commissions, cancels idea Joss Whedon just had

HOLLYWOOD—In an unprecedented move, Fox Broadcasting has decided to take the extraordinary step of almost simultaneously commissioning and canceling a new series conceptualized in the bathtub earlier this morning by Buffy the Vampire Slayer creator Joss Whedon. This announcement comes as his current show, the low-rated Dollhouse, has found itself in danger of not being renewed for a second season.

“We just like being in the Whedon business,” said Fox Director of Programming Tom Niven. “We really enjoyed putting Joss’ last two shows, Firefly and the about-to-be-canceled Dollhouse, in rough timeslots, showing episodes out of order, forcing last-minute rewrites and reshoots, and generally jerking him around by the balls so the projects never find their audience. But like everyone else, we've been forced to make cutbacks lately, so we decided to eliminate everything that traditionally comes between optioning a Joss Whedon project and mercilessly running it into the ground for no apparent reason."

According to Whedon, the show, conceived while he decided to add more hot water to his morning bath, was to be called Robo-something or “something with the word Mech or Mecha in the title." The series, which was to chronicle a robot or possibly a group of robots on the run from… something, or possibly time traveling, was to star Felicia Day and David Boreanaz. During the application of shampoo to his hair, Mr. Whedon definitely thought it would be cool if it were possible to have Han Solo or a 25 year-old Paul Newman to function as the villainous group of… whatever… chasing the robots, perhaps even starring as the corrupt Time Police. Or something.

Cries of anger immediately went up among Whedon’s large and loyal fanbase. Message boards caved under the traffic as the portly and pale-skinned horde lamented the untimely demise of what they were certain was going to be another genre classic. They hope that by showing their support for the project and by buying the upcoming book release of the conceptual ideas behind the show, including an authentic reproduction of a drawing on a napkin of a stick figure human with a stick figure robot in a headlock with the cryptic question “Laser eyes?” above it, will prove to Fox that there is enough loyalty surrounding the project to forestall cancellation.