Quote of the day

Conservative columnist and former bearded kick machine Chuck Norris, with an assist from Mike Huckabee.

And the question that keeps coming back to my mind is: How is it that we can militarily overthrow a tyrant like Saddam Hussein in Iraq, yet we can't keep illegals from crossing our borders? As Mike Huckabee says, "If the government can't track illegals, then let's outsource the job to UPS or Fed Ex." It's true. If they can track a lost package anywhere in the world within minutes, they can certainly track down and keep track of illegals.

Yes, this is clearly the solution to everything related to illegal immigration. Give UPS or FedEx the contract and then set about installing GPS chips into everyone in Mexico (in secret so they don't find out and take the chips out) so that UPS can somehow magically track who comes over the border and where they go.

Someone has told Chuck that UPS and FedEx are able to keep track of packages because of the fact that they control where and when the packages go, right? It's a complex system of barcodes, scanners, and planes held together by the fact that people pay them to deliver and track the packages, not some system where they wrangle loose packages that they stumble across, right? There's not some elaborate electronic net over the world that allows then to keep tabs on everything made of cardboard. Nor does it have a setting that can be switched over to "Mexicans". He does know this, right?