Important non-distractions

Ahh Eric Cantor, you becoming are my favorite Republican tit clutcher and crybaby. Last seen yesterday bitterly complaining that stem cells are a massive distraction from the economy. Some liberal wags over at the heart of the left wing conspiracy known as Media Matters Keith Olbermann George Soros Think Progress, decided to look at some of the things Cantor himself thought were important priorities and not in any way distracting.

– H. Res. 204: Congratulating the American Dental Association for its 150th year of working to improve the public’s oral health and promoting dentistry.

– H. Res. 18: A bill honoring the life, achievements and contributions of Paul Newman.

– H.R. 997: To declare English as the official language of the United States.

– H.R. 836: To amend the Internal Revenue Code of 1986 to reduce the tax on beer to its pre-1991 level, and for other purposes.

So to recap: science is distracting, let's spend our time congratulating the ADA and Republican base targeted jingoistic language moves. Due to some investigative dumpster diving by our associates (read: homeless operatives), TB Industries was able to find some of Cantor's legislative priorities for the next month.

-H. Res 256: A bill commemorating the Buffalo Bills and the Hamilton Tiger-Cats for the 48th anniversary of the only AFL-CFL professional football matchup.

-H. Res 117: "Sense of the House" bill to find out if taffy is still the favored snack of the United States Congress.

-H.R. 755: To declare English the official language of Mexico.

-H.R. 83: All teeth are legally the property of the ADA, to do with as they please.

-H.R 992: The Commonwealth of Virginia is to be hereby owned and run by Eric Cantor. Virginia will now be know as Neo Cantoropolis or Cantorusalem.