So maybe Obama hasn't delivered on all of his campaign promises yet, like say the secrecy thing or fixing the economy or horsewhipping Harry Reid, but the man has hit on a few and it's still early yet. While all the little creatures of the forest have failed to frolic around us all while bluebirds alight at our shoulders carrying uplifting messages on ribbons of silk, he has hit on one magical, mystical, hopey, changey promise:
bubblegum dolphins in a marmalade lake!!!!!!
Ok, it's not really marmalade, the color and chunkiness of the water are pollution related, not jam related. But still: BUBBLEGUM MOTHERFUCKING DOLPHINS!!! Plus I have it on good authority that Obama has ordered the appearance of taffy unicorns that defecate healthcare coverage, dwarves that mine candy canes, and rainbows made of cotton candy. It's not all bad, the Obama Presidency is exactly like a happy Disney cartoon! Now sing a jaunty tune while you look for work.
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