Road trip

President Obama is getting the fuck out of here and going on vacation. Eight days in Europe away from all of America's problems. G-20 meetings with other leaders. Safety. Sanity.

Who can blame the guy? Have you been around America? It's depressing, filled with jobless people, mounting problems, no solutions, and assholes asking what you're gonna do about it. America's problems aren't in London, Barry won't be asked to fix London's problems, London's problems are Gordon Brown's problems, all Barry has to do is shake hands and take pictures with leaders who want a photo with the President or who think he's Tiger Woods and still want a photo. Shake some hands, make up some golf swing advice to tell Andrea Merkel, and eat as many mini-quiches as you can stuff in your mouth. Just an easy few days....aw crap they're going to expect leadership on the financial crisis and solutions.

First up: a summit of the world's economic powers in London to address the global financial meltdown that has defined the first two months of Obama's administration.

"The president and America are going to listen in London, as well as to lead," White House spokesman Robert Gibbs said.

The main event in London is Thursday's summit on the global financial crisis among the Group of 20 wealthy and developing nations. Together, they represent 85 percent of the world's economy.

Obama planned to meet with leaders of Britain, Russia and China _ major players in the U.S. financial system. He also scheduled meetings with leaders of India and South Korea while in London.

But money isn't the sole agenda item. Obama plans to attend international summits on urgent topics, including the downward-spiraling fight against terrorists in Afghanistan and Pakistan.

That should go well, "Hey world, I know we're all dealing with this financial crisis--actually I'm dealing with it and you're all hoping my solutions fix your problems, more on that later--but you want to take some time out of your day, dust off those armies you don't use and help a brother out? Why are you all backing into the dining room?"

After a few awkward days of everyone looking to him to fix everything and Obama mumbling a response of "ask Tim Geithner" it's off to France for a speech on trans-Atlantic relations and a tour of destitute Roquefort makers left penniless after our cheese tariff; a speech in Prague about weapons proliferation; a quick jaunt to Berlin to pick up the wallet and spare podium he left there during the election; then off to visit his first Muslim country, Turkey (aka the safe Muslim country) to talk to students. That last one ought to fuel a few days of crazy Michelle Bachmann conspiracy theories. So it's really a working vacation. Still, better than sticking around here.