McCain to turn campaign around today. No, seriously.

The Early Word: McCain to Deliver Underdog Speech

Senator John McCain, seeking to both acknowledge and change the narrative that has begun to dominate the presidential campaign, plans to unveil a retooled stump speech today.
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Meanwhile Senator Barack Obama will deliver a major economic policy address in the critical battleground state of Ohio, according to his campaign.

Gee, I wonder which one will get more coverage and have more resonance with voters in these tough economic times? The major economic address or the old guy throwing himself a pity party where he'll repeat the same old attacks no one cares about, but with a decided air of "Boo Hoo" and centering it around the fact that being massively down in the polls and looking at the prospect of Mondale-esque defeat is some form of campaigning genius. An excerpt:

Senator Obama is measuring the drapes, and planning with Speaker Pelosi and Senator Reid to raise taxes, increase spending, take away your right to vote by secret ballot in labor elections, and concede defeat in Iraq. But they forgot to let you decide. My friends, we’ve got them just where we want them.

First off, I'm sure that's a surprise to every union that endorsed Obama, especially that McCain is supposedly pro-union now. Secondly, this is exactly where you want to be? Are you one of those people who can't ejaculate unless your testicles are being crushed? This is the electoral equivalent, except there will be no happy finish for you. I'm sure "I'm an underdog. Bill Ayers. Waaaaaaaah. Drapes." will swing it back your way. What is this, like the fourth campaign reset you've hit? I'm sorry this level is too hard for you to beat, find a magic flute to warp you past it or try and come up with a non-retarded solution. Like, talking about the economy.

So there are two outcomes for today. One is that everyone calls bullshit, points and laughs at McCain, and we move on from McCain 5.0. The second is lots of BS "Mac is back" stories about how focusing on Nancy Pelosi's perverse coterie of drape picking San Francisco homosexuals is the path to victory. I think we know which one lets us all pretend this race is still close and sell some ad space. MAC IS BACK!!!!!