Horrific financial apocalypse still on schedule

World Markets Plunge On Crisis Fears

Asian and European stock markets plunged Monday as government bank bailouts in the U.S. and Europe failed to alleviate fears that the global financial crisis would depress world economic growth.

Investors took scant comfort from Washington's passage of a US$700 billion plan to buy bad assets from banks and other institutions to shore up the financial industry on Friday because of the uncertainty still hanging over the details of the deal and the degree to which it will help.

Britain's benchmark stock index, the FTSE 100, lost 220.11 to 4,760.14 _ a 4.42 percent fall. The declines were led by the banking industry, with the mining and oil industries also suffering drops. HBOS PLC's share price dropped 15.7 percent, while the Royal Bank of Scotland Group PLC fell 13.6 percent.

Germany's DAX index fell 4.22 percent to 5,552.27. France's CAC-40 index dropped 4.85 percent to 3,882.81. In Russia, the RTS stock index tumbled more than 7 percent in first 20 minutes of trading.

Right now the Dow is down 420 points after being down almost 600. The Dow is currently below 10,000 for the first time in four years. Garroting and shivving your fellow man for bread scraps in a burnt out dystopian nightmare is still a large possibility. Maybe we need to give away another $700 billion dollars. You know, just to give them all the confidence the last $700 billion did. Oh, I know, none of that money has been spent yet, but if the markets aren't going to respond with our attempt to choke a mule with fistfuls of taxpayer money isn't there some corner where we can go pitch a snit in while refusing to give them more money? A hardwood floor for loud feet stomping?

So the horrific financial apocalypse is steaming down the tracks. If you have money in the stock market, you will lose it. Almost a million people have lost their jobs this year and more will be on the way. In fact you're probably going to lose your job for dicking around on a poorly written blog. Don't worry, the financial markets might be shit but there's still the budding agrarian barter economy. Now since you probably worked in marketing or the financial field, you have no jobs skills for our hellish future. You are a prostitute now. 2 eggs for some hand action, 1 pound of bacon for an 'anything goes' session. It'll be rough, but you'll make it through with only minor psychological and emotional damage. And physical scarring, I forgot the horrible physical scarring.

But if you want a real solution, I got one from John McCain this morning. What you have to do is....LOOK! It's William Ayers and Jeremiah Wright! They're stealing Ronald McDonald's hamburgers! Robble robble robble. No time to focus on economics now, form up a posse.