Cheap Blogging Crutch 01.06

Climate Activists Jailed For Saying ‘Coal’s Killing West Virginia’s Communities’
What do you have to do to get arrested in West Virginia? Well we know marrying your cousin, hunting Burt Reynolds and raping Ned Beatty during a canoe trip, bootlegging moonshine, or setting every couch in Morgantown on fire won't do it. But if you point out that coal mining and mountaintop coal mining damages communities, damages the environment, and damages the health of the men doing the work? You get imprisoned and held without charges for an offense that would merit a $100 fine. Stay classy, WV.

Japan Bomb Survivor, Tsutomu Yamaguchi, Lived Through Hiroshima And Nagasaki Atomic Attacks
Did you ever wonder who in human history had the worst week ever recorded? That would be Tsutomu Yamaguchi, a Japanese man who went to Hiroshima for a business meeting for his shipbuilding company, got nuked, suffered serious burns to his body, spent the night in the hospital, went back to his home in Nagasaki, and hot nuked again. I also think he banged his shin off a table somewhere in the intervening period between atomic blasts. That really hurts. Thankfully he lived a long a full life to the age of 93. So next time you think you're really having a bad week, just say to yourself "At least I'm not 'Two Nukes' Yamaguchi."

Iran soccer official resigns over e-mail to Israel
How great is Iran's hatred of Israel and how rigid is their punishment of government officials that recognize Israel as a state? So much so that the head of their soccer federation was fired for including Israel's soccer head in a mass e-mail of banal New Years' greeting he sent out to every soccer federation head in the world. That's sticking to your Jew hating guns. I don't know why they fired him. Isn't being President of Iran's soccer federation enough punishment?

Moon hole might be suitable for colony
Good news for those of us who think we should all have been living on fucking moon bases like a decade ago. Seems that a 312 ft wide 260 ft deep hole in the moon's Marius Hills would provide a perfect temperature controlled, meteorite protected place to put a fucking moon base already. Either the government needs to get on this or Sean and I are using it for the galactic headquarters of Moon Water Inc. I don't want to give away too much of our business model, but lets just say it involves multiple Sam Rockwells and a robot voiced by Kevin Spacey.

The Distant Executioner
Vanity Fair takes an extensive look at our Afghanistan policy of trying to avoid civilian deaths and what that means for combat, particularly in the usage of snipers. It follows around a Texas Army National Guardsman sniper who has dropped a Taliban fighter at 806 meters and believes God is on his side. Worth your time.