Compassion 101

I, for one, find it comforting that the world's most severe humanitarian crisis in recent memory hasn't gotten in the way of everyone's fun.

Sixty miles from Haiti's devastated earthquake zone, luxury liners dock at private beaches where passengers enjoy jetski rides, parasailing and rum cocktails delivered to their hammocks.

The 4,370-berth Independence of the Seas, owned by Royal Caribbean International, disembarked at the heavily guarded resort of Labadee on the north coast on Friday; a second cruise ship, the 3,100-passenger Navigator of the Seas is due to dock.

The Florida cruise company leases a picturesque wooded peninsula and its five pristine beaches from the government for passengers to "cut loose" with watersports, barbecues, and shopping for trinkets at a craft market before returning on board before dusk. Safety is guaranteed by armed guards at the gate.

To be honest, I'm a little worried about these passengers. While a twelve-foot fence and armed guards might have been enough to keep the mud people at bay when they were just the most impoverished residents of the western hemisphere, all bets are probably off now that the country's cardboard infrastructure has been reduced to a pile of smoldering rubble.

Whatever you do, brave vacationers, be sure to keep the jet ski running. You never know when you'll have to make a quick getaway.