Cheap Blogging Crutch 01.14

Cancel Haiti's debt
Foreign Policy Magazine points out that due to various machinations, Haiti currently owes close to $2 billion in external debt. But, it also qualifies to have around $1.2 billion of that debt forgiven by the Inter-American Development Bank. I'm of the crazy idea that it'd probably be a good idea to forgive all of it. But then again, it's not like banks have been out to win any friends lately.

Mobile giving to help Haiti exceeds $5 million
The various text campaigns to raise money for Haiti (HAITI to 90999 and YELE to 501501) have raised over $5 million dollars for relief efforts, breaking previous records. But because we here are bitter, unpleasant men, this isn't so much about the incessant texting addiction of the American public finally being harnessed for something other than causing a car accident. No, it's about how Sprint is the only cell phone company that still sees fit to charge you a texting fee for donating money to the Red Cross. Yup, gotta make a buck somehow. So bully for them. They saw a humanitarian disaster and said "standard text messaging rates still apply." Slow golf clap for these good and decent people.

As Wallets Open For Haiti, Credit Card Companies Take A Big Cut
Speaking of grifting, thieving fucks here comes the credit card companies with their own way to skim money off the top of people's genuine concern for Haiti. Yup credit card companies are going to net a quarter of a billion a year off of credit card charges for charitable donations. Except for Capitol One, they seem the only ones wanting to be able to look at themselves in the mirror. American Express also announced that they would waive fees until the end of February because they realize it looks horrible. Priorities, people. Just because an entire company collapsed on itself doesn't mean quarterly earnings figures don't need to be met.

NHL investigating FSN Pittsburgh
As if the Philly/Pittsburgh hockey rivalry needed some extra juice, it turns out that FSN Pittsburgh may in fact withheld from goal review judges a critical angle showing the puck crossing the line during the last Penguins/Flyers matchup. And by "may" I mean "did", because they showed the angle right after it was ruled a no goal. It was hilarious. It's nice to see that even the production crew is getting into the rivalry and doing all they can to stick it to those cheap shotting, finger biting goons from Filthadelphia. Hopefully this is just another precursor to us sending them home early from the playoffs for the third straight year.

Chuck Norris Hunts for Obama's 'Secret Vault' as Interpol Conspiracy Theories Get Wilder
Have I mentioned hat Chuck Norris might be the craziest right winger in the country right now? I think it bears mentioning. Because he seems to be convinced that not only did President Obama five Interpol the ability to investigate, arrest, and detain American on American soil (they can't), but is certain that there is a secret vault in New York City where Interpol is secretly housing kidnapped Americans it secretly arrested in a secretive manner. And Chuck Fuckin' Norris is on the hunt to find that vault. I don't know what's sadder, that Chuck Norris believes this, he got it published on a website, or that a professional journalist had to wirte about it for an ostensibly important national news magazine. I wonder what Don "The Dragon" Wilson thinks about this whole Interpol business?