OH SHIT, THE NUKES ARE IN THE AIR! RUN FOR COVER!!!

Today the Washington Times has a lovely new article up giving us all a new sneak preview of our new serious, adult foreign policy discussion that will soon grip our elected and media betters: oh sweet fuck, Iran lied and has been working on THE BOMB and those fuckers are going to be able to nuke us any second now, KILL KILL KILL, BOMB BOMB BOMB, WAR WAR WAR.

But before we start ramping up the scholarly articles that will soon arrive talking about how to save the Iranian people and support the nascent Iranian protest movement we must bomb the everliving fuck out of them and lamentations that our un-negro dialected Muslim President is insufficiently willing to start a new war and protect the homeland, those gentile souls at the Cato Institute point out that there always seems to be a theme in intelligence estimates of Iran's nuclear capabilities.

“Late 1991: In congressional reports and CIA assessments, the United States estimates that there is a ‘high degree of certainty that the government of Iran has acquired all or virtually all of the components required for the construction of two to three nuclear weapons.’ A February 1992 report by the U.S. House of Representatives suggests that these two or three nuclear weapons will be operational between February and April 1992.”

“February 24, 1993: CIA director James Woolsey says that Iran is still 8 to 10 years away from being able to produce its own nuclear weapon, but with assistance from abroad it could become a nuclear power earlier.”

“January 1995: The director of the U.S. Arms Control and Disarmament Agency, John Holum, testifies that Iran could have the bomb by 2003.”

“January 5, 1995: U.S. Defense Secretary William Perry says that Iran may be less than five years from building an atomic bomb, although ‘how soon…depends how they go about getting it.’”

“April 29, 1996: Israeli prime minister Shimon Peres says ‘he believes that in four years, they [Iran] may reach nuclear weapons.’”

“October 21, 1998: General Anthony Zinni, head of U.S. Central Command, says Iran could have the capacity to deliver nuclear weapons within five years. ‘If I were a betting man,’ he said, ‘I would say they are on track within five years, they would have the capability.’”

“January 17, 2000: A new CIA assessment on Iran’s nuclear capabilities says that the CIA cannot rule out the possibility that Iran may possess nuclear weapons. The assessment is based on the CIA’s admission that it cannot monitor Iran’s nuclear activities with any precision and hence cannot exclude the prospect that Iran may have nuclear weapons.”

And on and on and on. Iran is perennially one year away from gaining the bomb! Hell, even the new season of 24 has President Goodarab of the Islamic Republic of Genericstan *wink**wink*Iran*wink**wink**wink* one year away from the bomb and engaged in negotiations with the US to halt their program. It somehow all involves Jack Bauer caving a dude's chest in with a axe, Starbuck, and Freddie Prinze Jr., but they are negotiations nonetheless.

So before you whip yourself into a total war froth, just remember: Iran is one year away from the bomb, because Iran will always be one year away from the bomb. Two decades from now Iran will be one year away from the bomb. I know it'll feel really good to do a couple of bombing runs on Tehran in order to support Mousavi, or whatever reason it is our political betters will be advocating for, but let's remember that.