An announcement

It is with great sadness that I have to announce that effective immediately, Sean and I will be shutting down These Bastards. Now I know this comes as a tremendous blow to our billions upon billions of fans who have spent the past year plus organizing and building a society around the way we bitch about politics, mock religion, and do fake news, but it's time. "Why?" you might ask. Four words: whites only basketball league. Sean and I have to get ready for tryouts.

A new professional basketball league called the All-American Basketball Alliance (AABA) sent out a press release on Sunday saying that it intends to start its inaugural season in June, with teams in 12 U.S. cities. However, the AABA is different from other sports leagues because only players who are “natural born United States citizens with both parents of Caucasian race are eligible to play in the league.”
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“There’s nothing hatred about what we’re doing,” he said. “I don’t hate anyone of color. But people of white, American-born citizens are in the minority now. Here’s a league for white players to play fundamental basketball, which they like.”
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“Would you want to go to the game and worry about a player flipping you off or attacking you in the stands or grabbing their crotch?” he said. “That’s the culture today, and in a free country we should have the right to move ourselves in a better direction.”

We do have one suggestion: call it the National Blacklessball Association. Otherwise we're proud to join the sporting equivalent of the teabaggers movement. In fact that's the team Sean and I will be trying out for; the Nashville Teabaggers. Other teams will include the Statesboro Defenders of White Cultural Heritage and the Birmingham Members of a Certain Secret Society... I Don't Believe I Gotta Mention Its Name, Heh-Heh.

So if you're like us and you hate taking a basketball beat down from Negroes making showboat passes, pretending the ball is a yo-yo, bringing out a step ladder onto the court, employing a bucket full of confetti, all the while whistling "Sweet Georgia Brown", then there's a place for you: 1930's Alabama. Also: one of 12 cities that are part of the AABA, starting in June.

Ahh, a league bereft of blacks and Argentinians... it's a dream come true. Frankly the opportunity to strike it rich in a regional all white basketball league is the only thing that could make Sean and I stop the unending money spigot that is a news commentary and political satire blog. But we've just got to practice our layups and set-shots. The white man has been oppressed for too long. Now whites will finally have something of our own.