You gotta pay to teabag

My fellow teabaggers, I have news on the groups of people who have attempted to steal our moniker in the service of politics; the tea party teabaggers. I know we were all pissed off that they took our testicle related thing and named their movement after it, but we have to put that behind us. They're in trouble and they're not sure what to do.

In the latest sign of rancor in Tea Party circles, a convention billed as an effort to bring together conservative activists from across the country is being attacked by some leading Tea Partiers as inauthentic, too tied to the GOP, and -- at $549 per head -- too expensive for the working Americans the movement aspires to represent.
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Tea Party Patriots, which helped put together a September rally that drew tens of thousands to Washington, view the confab -- which is being held at Nashville's swank Opryland Gaylord hotel -- as the "usurpation of a grassroots movement," according to Mark Meckler, a leader of the group. "Most people in our movement can't afford anything like that," Meckler told TPMmuckraker, referring to the price tag. "So it's really not aimed at the average grassroots person."
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"The Tea Party Movement is about to be hijacked," wrote one activist in an online comment recently.

Consternations! When did the tea party movement stop being about not understanding what the hell they were protesting, misspelled placards, and inarticulate insanity. Who could have ever foreseen that a movement that had already been hijacked by corporations in order to promote corporate goals, would further be hijacked in order to suck the last remaining dimes out of the true believers?

But why the exorbitant price to wave teabags around? Well, when you have to pay the giants of reactionary, ill-informed stupidity, Michelle Bachmann and Sarah Palin, upwards of $100,000 a piece to come speak, the value of such an endeavor has to be passed on to the peasants. But it's worth it. They're getting the premiere clueless conservative harpy tag team of the age. This is like getting to see the Hart Foundation in their prime taking apart some helpless jobbers on a Saturday morning. Only with more teabags and birth certificate conspiracies and less turnbuckle work. Same amount of pink though.

I just feel sorry for he true believers who are being shut out. I'll just take solace in the fact that they didn't understand that they while they were protesting against invisible tax increases they had received tax cuts, that they didn't understand economics or the bailouts, that they didn't understand health care, they didn't understand the facts surrounding the birth of our current President, and that they didn't understand what the word "teabagging" meant to the rest of the country, so they probably won't fully understand what's going on now. I'll just point out that corporations and leaders can't hijack something they already fully owned, advise them to run any name they might choose for a new splinter group through the urban dictionary, and leave it at that.