Shark Jesus

Scientists: Virginia shark's pup a 'virgin birth'

Scientists have confirmed the second case of a "virgin birth" in a shark.

In a study reported Friday in the Journal of Fish Biology, scientists said DNA testing proved that a pup carried by a female Atlantic blacktip shark in the Virginia Aquarium & Marine Science Center contained no genetic material from a male.

The first documented case of asexual reproduction, or parthenogenesis, among sharks involved a pup born to a hammerhead at an Omaha, Neb., zoo.

"This first case was no fluke," Demian Chapman, a shark scientist and lead author of the second study, said in a statement. "It is quite possible that this is something female sharks of many species can do on occasion."

I for one am willing to throw my beliefs out the window to worship Shark Jesus. Think of the divine implications of the virgin shark birth or the possibilities of a Shark God. Perhaps God has abandoned man for a creation he sees fit to run the new world. We are just about on the brink of total annihilation. Maybe after the last nukes fall, sharks will walk out of the water, live in the burnt out remnants of our society, and mock our culture. Maybe there are too many sinner sharks and Shark Jesus must come here to die for the sins of all sharkdom. In any event, I want to worship a divine twenty foot, eight ton killing machine that swims 30 meters per second. Like the Catholic Church intended.