Several TSA security dogs serving at Philadelphia International Airport have been removed from active service due to issues with their training, officials said Tuesday.Great, now we don't even have the most accomplished ass and crotch sniffers in our security apparatus out there searching for weaponized undergarments and high tech groin explosives. Sadly it seems the dogs were subjected to the Philly school system and sports culture and as such were rendered mentally unfit. Thankfully it is Philadelphia, so right now the best deterrent to would be suicide bombers is that they would actually have to go to Philly to blow part of it up and they obviously wouldn't want to do that. It's too dangerous.
The dogs, which are typically used to detect drugs, bombs and other potential security threats, failed their recertification training. They were unable to distinguish the scents of explosive materials, officials said.
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The affected dogs have been undergoing an intensive rehab training program since the failure, but they remain on-duty to act as visual deterrents, officials said. Philadelphia Police K-9 units are not affected and still being used at the airport.
So not only is the TSA leaderless and it's employees seemingly unable to perform their jobs, the animals we've hired aren't even able to correctly use their noses to smell stuff. Surely there is something working correctly at the TSA, right? Perhaps a copier that makes good copies, a coffee machine that is ably letting hot water filter through coffee grounds into a pot, perhaps a Roomba that is keeping the office tidy, or a janitor that has properly mopped the floor and competently put up "wet floor" signs? We'll just trust that there is and that a typical TSA office isn't full of Clouseau-esque bumblers getting their hands bitten by dogs or falling down stairs and destroying suits of armor.
But that's probably an accurate description.
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