Get a job

Well the new employment stats are in and yes, we lost more jobs again and the economic outlook appears grim. Or should I say "still appears grim". The economy shed 85,000 jobs, unemployment stayed at 10%, the workforce dropped by 661,000 as people quit looking for jobs, underemployment rose to 17.3%, and I accidentally made eye contact with a homeless man on Grant Street. It was totally awkward.

But lost in all the whinging about "Oooh the misery" and "I can't feed my family" and "I have no money" and "When I look at my husband his head morphs into a delicious looking roast turkey and I start comically salivating" is this bit of good news:

The latest monthly snapshot of the national job market released by the Labor Department on Friday provided one potentially encouraging milestone: Data for November was revised to show that the economy gained 4,000 net jobs that month, in contrast to initial reports showing a loss of 11,000 jobs. That marked the first monthly improvement since the recession began two years ago.

Yeah, that's right: at some point in this miserable economy, an actual net job was created. I'll break out the fine china, you call the specialty snooty foods store to see if they have a pallet of beluga caviar and toast points sitting in the back. Now I know 4,000 doesn't sound like a lot of jobs. But if you were to think of it in terms of Single A minor league baseball attendance, you'd be thrilled. Especially if you didn't have to throw a bobble head or fireworks night to get that many people through the turnstiles.

Unfortunately we at the These Bastards Economic Analysis and Financial Services Weapons Depot have talked to some of our sources in the Department of Labor and have been told that the 4,000 jobs created number will be revised downwards next month. There's still job creation, but it's being revised to only one actual job that was created. So we'd like to congratulate last month's lucky job recipient, one Phyllis Walden of Boise, Idaho who was hired as a cashier at the local CostCo. Congratulations on your achievement and please accept our solemn condolences in recognition of the fact that you lost that job this month.

Ah well Phyllis, maybe you'll get it back next month. Though, to be realistic, probably more like early 2011 if current economic predictions hold. Hope you can hold out until then.