BRISTOL—Today during a morning ESPN staff meeting that was set to discuss final plans for the promotion and broadcasting of upcoming World Poker Tour events, veteran promo man and video editor Tom Sullivan announced to the room that he was having trouble creating any ad that didn’t strongly feature the Lady Gaga hit “Poker Face”.
“’Pa-pa-pa-poker face, pa-pa-poker face’, that’s all I can fucking hear inside my head now. I can’t think of anything else,” he was heard to exclaim in the meeting. “Shots of Phil Hellmuth and Doyle Brunson flipping over cards and grabbing larges tacks of chips while that woman sings about muffin bluffing and how you can’t ‘read-a her poker face’. I’m fucking losing my mind here.”
As the distraught man stood in the room, broken by this fact, programming director Mark Halpin asked, “What about 'The Gambler’ by Kenny Rogers?” before taking shelter as Sullivan heaved a chair at him.
Sullivan further noted that while he felt a deep sense of shame, cliché, and unoriginality over this revelation, unless they wanted weeks upon weeks worth of poker ads featuring “Poker Face” that someone “had better name another fucking song quickly” because the Lady Gaga track had finally worn down his will and he was hours away from basing an entire ad campaign around it.
When those in the room replied that because he had both mentioned the song and sung its chorus that it too was all they could think of, Sullivan was said to have visibly died inside as a single tear rolled down his cheek.
As of press time, no one had been able to think of an alternative song.
Monday, January 4, 2010
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