Among the things expected to happen at the meeting are:
- Obama banging Janet Napolitano's head off the conference room table while yelling "You couldn't think of anything better to say than 'the system worked'?"
- Obama incredulously asking "He's a foreigner from a country we recognize as dangerous, whose father warned us about his increasing radicalization in a terrorist country, he paid for a one way ticket in cash, checked no bags... and we still couldn't piece this shit together?" punctuating the speech with a "fuuuuuuuuuuuuck"
- Obama angrily asking "and where was the TSA on this?" before gesturing to a chair that he turns around to find out is empty and not likely to be filled soon. He punctuates that revelation with a slap to his forehead and a groaning "fuuuuuuuuuuuuck"
- The President casually mentioning that this is the first meeting he's had where Tim Geithner and Larry Summers weren't telling him something awful about the economy
- Obama will casually remind everyone that their fuckups ruined both his families' vacation and his families' Christmas and that he would be holding a grudge and planning revenge. Note that Sasha seemed most upset and referred to Homeland Security adviser John Brennan as a "big doodyhead" and a "rotten son of a bitch"
- 45 minute improv session where advisers try to come up with best underwear, security, and explosives related jokes, one-liners, and skits they can think of. Best will be performed at the January 23rd Security Follies show at the Kennedy Center.
- Again note how great it is to not see Tim Geithner in this meeting with a hangdog expression and using the phrase "I need to tell you something awful about the money"
- Ask the security experts to place a provision in the law that makes sure that the President is sent the best photos from the body scanners that are being installed. Noting that he wants to see "big boobs", "big wangers", ""famous celebrities", and "the most pear shaped humans America has to offer"
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