Everything's OK now

I know some of you are worried about the state of the economy, the jobs market, and the rampant inequalities and failings within our system of government, oversight, and regulations that allowed banks and financial giants to set fire to everyone's money. But that's all better now. Why? No, it's not because someone invented a time machine to go back and kill Phil Gramm and it's definitely not because things got fixed and the economy a job markets are back on track. No, the Chairman and CEO of Goldman-Sachs toddled up to the front of the class and apologized like a big boy. Everything's OK now.

Lloyd Blankfein, chairman and chief executive officer of Goldman Sachs Group Inc., apologized for the firm’s role in some of the activities leading to the financial crisis.

“We participated in things that were clearly wrong and have reason to regret,” Blankfein, 55, said at a conference in New York hosted by the Directorship magazine. “We apologize.”

Are you happy now, America and Matt Taibbi? Do you see what you've reduced this man to? He's apologizing for the things his company did and enabled! It's sickening that this country is so vindictive that we'd actually ask that of our financial betters.

I'm just glad that the apology is the only thing he's doing. I mean of course he's not going to actually give back the close to $50 billion he ratfucked out of our pockets during this whole post-apocalypse period, and he's certainly not going to think of not paying out the billions in bonuses to the people who helped set everyone's money on fire, nor is he going to renounce all the billions upon billions that they raked in while they were ensuring a global economic collapse, nor the billions they made betting on the housing crash while they simultaneously boot people out of their homes. They're keeping that money and you'll have to live with all the damage they helped cause, but he's sorry.

And while he isn't promising they won't do it again, you can rest assured that they help toilet the economy again, you'll get another nice apology. So go away and stop bothering your money emperors with your "complaints" about their "deeply unethical business practices."