Thursday, November 19, 2009

Just desserts

Let's say you're Texas, the state known for it's streak of independence and the fact that everything is bigger there. Because of that your laws have to be bigger and more independent than any other state in the union. So when one of the two things your state is most known for possessing (*psst*, it's the "and queers" part of "steers and queers") wants to get married against the wishes of God, then you have to create the biggest and most comprehensive law banning their unholy coupling.'d that work out?
Barbara Ann Radnofsky, a Houston lawyer and Democratic candidate for attorney general, says that a 22-word clause in a 2005 constitutional amendment designed to ban gay marriages erroneously endangers the legal status of all marriages in the state.
But the trouble-making phrase, as Radnofsky sees it, is Subsection B, which declares:

"This state or a political subdivision of this state may not create or recognize any legal status identical or similar to marriage."
But Radnofsky, who was a member of the powerhouse Vinson & Elkins law firm in Houston for 27 years until retiring in 2006, says the wording of Subsection B effectively "eliminates marriage in Texas," including common-law marriages.
Whoops. All along we've been told that it was the gays that were going to destroy marriage. Turns out it was the Texas legislature with an assist from Texas citizens. I have to say that is quite a commitment to marriage and homo-shunning. I mean to just wall off marriage in a hermetically sealed container, never to be touched or used by anyone after 2005? That's dedication to the institution. Now no one can ruin it. Not the gays or all the politicians in Texas who are on their third wife. Hey, I have a great tourism slogan for you: "Texas: a great place for singles....because no one can ever get legally married here."

So I offer a hearty congratulations to the people of Texas. You didn't just go with the standard homo bashing that's good enough for most states, you went big with the fag-hatin', as is your custom, ...and now marriage doesn't count in your state. Point and laugh at Texas children, point and laugh. We all eagerly await your next comical folly in an attempt to strip people of rights and treat them as second class citizens. May I suggest a referendum on illegal immigrants that strips everyone in the state of their US citizenship? Ahh, I'm sure you've got something even better cooked up.

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