Bubba hits the Hill

The big news in the health care fight today? Bubba is heading to the Hill to have a lunch with the Democratic Senate caucus in an attempt to rally support/knock heads over the fight to pass health care.

Senate Democrats today are huddling for their first weekly lunch since the House passed its version of the health care plan and they have a special guest with firsthand experience of what can happen when legislation fails.
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Another source tells us that Clinton is attending the lunch at the request of Obama Chief of Staff Rahm Emanuel (who worked in Clinton White House) and Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid.

As of yet there's no confirmation of the rumor that Reid called up Clinton and said "You fuckin' talk to these people, 'cause they're fuckin' hopeless," but as part of the deal to get Bill in there the White House will be sending Hillary away on more foreign policy excursions.

No one is sure what exactly Bill is going to say to rally the Democrats. Hell, most of them are already rallied. It's the last couple of spineless holdouts that need to be coerced and I'm not sure a group lunch is going to do it. Still, Bill is probably going to remind everyone of his own fight for health care...in a not so subtle manner. He's then going to remind Democratic Senators how his bid to reform the system was derailed by Democrats. He's then going to look around the room, see that many of those same sons of bitches that screwed him in the nineties are still sitting there and he'll probably go apeshit.

Sources say he has an elaborate speech worked out about baseball and teamwork, which he will give while holding a Louisville Slugger he got signed by Albert Pujols. Then as the speech climaxes as he's talking about individuals not succeeding without the team succeeding and "hot-dog Senators playing by their own rules" he beats Joe Lieberman to death with the bat as the Ennio Morricone score blares. As everyone is horrified by the bloody scene and Rahm is ordering a dozen roses sent to Lieberman's widow, Bubba rushes Ben Nelson, puts a gun in his mouth and asks him if he's got any more bright ideas. He then puts the gun on the table, remarks that anyone wanting to oppose health care better use the gun on themselves, before tersely muttering something to Rahm about that being "the Arkansas way" and noting that it was easier dealing with Kim Jong-Il.

At least that's the way it goes in my dreams.