Good morning, go see 2012

Yes, go see 2012. "It looks terrible" you say. "It is terrible" I say. But it's that magical kind of terrible that never offends or insults too badly, entertains the entire way, provides enough spectacle and unintentional humor to counterbalance the lack of any real drama, has John Fucking Cusack and Woody Goddamn Harrelson in it, and will lose any sense of spectacle, grandeur, or point if watched on anything less than a giant movie screen. Go see 2012, it is a 10,000 foot monument to scientific mumbo jumbo, ethnic stereotypes, plot contrivances, epic destruction, and pointless deaths wrapped up in almost every film cliche and tied off with a bow of the most meanspirited deaths and worldview that might have ever made it into a major blockbuster release.

Speaking of those cliches, Mike Russell of CulturePulp is kind enough to give you the "Make Your Own Disaster Movie" cliche rundown. Does 2012 follow this exact layout? Almost to the letter. But poor Mr. Russell seems to have forgotten about a hundred other disaster cliches that also applied. Perhaps his arm would have fallen off if he attempted to draw them. It doesn't matter, Roland Emmerich didn't forget a single one.