Broken In Brief: Wall St. sent to bed without dinner

NEW YORK--As a reinforcement of the "increased regulation" of large financial firms that has been hotly debated by lawmakers in recent weeks, House Majority Leader Nancy Pelosi (D-iscredited) announced that because of its naughty behavior, Wall Street would be sent straight to bed without dinner for the rest of the week.

In a morning press conference, Pelosi reiterated Congress' commitment to reforming and regulating a corrupt financial system that nearly caused a global economic collapse, noting that "It all starts with the fundamentals: three servings of vegetables, no TV before your homework is done, and respect for your elders."

Pelosi also cautioned that Congress was not afraid to cut down on XBox time and that, if the financial service and banking sectors don't straighten up and fly right, she might not drive them to the Jonas Brothers concert next month.

Asked to comment on Pelosi's statement, House Financial Services Committee Chairman Barney Frank also threatened a spanking.

When Wall Street was asked how it felt to be on the receiving end of such harsh dinner-time punishment, the venerated financial sector paused from eating the truffles and fois gras it had couriered up to its room, shooed away the models it had ferreted through the back door after Pelosi went to bed, and spoke. "Yeah... I'm really learning my lesson here. Oooh, stop with all this undue regulation and sanctions," Wall Street said, before falling asleep on a pile of everyone's money.