Jesus map

Gallup has gone out and shown use a definitive map of why large swaths of the South and Midwest infects so many regressive policies, terrible politicians, and grinds the progress of this country to a halt who in this country loves Jesus the hardest.

The winner? Mississippi at 63% weekly church attendance, followed by Alabama at 58%, and South Carolina, Utah, and Louisiana at 56%. Who wishes they could re-crucify the Lord, if he was actually real and only if they could delude themselves into believing in such a fanciful myth? Vermont at 23%, followed by Massachusetts, New Hampshire, and Maine all clocking in at under 30%.

On a whole the country got 0.7% more religious from 2008-2009, with much of the South getting anywhere from 2-5% more religious. And who can blame them, what with the financial collapse and that black guy who is about to steal all the stuff from white people in order to give it to black people?

I know you're asking, "Isn't this just a definitive map of where and why all the political problems in this country come from?" I'll just nod silently in agreement and we can share a knowing glance.

So congrats to Mississippi, you won the 2009 God Bowl! You're probably in church right now, so why don't you pray for victory in 2010. I'm sure you can crank it up to 70%.