Broken in Brief: Terminally unfunny man won't stop making two man luge jokes

BOSTON—“Boy, does one of them have to buy the other one dinner after this event? HAW HAW HAW,” brayed interminable oaf Danny Wallen earlier today during NBC’s televised contesting of the two man luge at the Vancouver Olympics.

“Hey, how come the flag on their leotards isn’t a rainbow one? Bwah Ha Ha!” he continued, testing the mental limits of his surrounding friends and family as they tried to enjoy proceedings that only occur once every four years.

Indeed all morning he has subjected his alleged loved ones to an unrelenting barrage of terribly obvious and unfunny gay jokes towards a sport where, he was horrified to find out, two men have to touch to partake in the event.

As of yet, none of his so called family has yet had the guts to stand up and tell him that ragging on the supposed gayness of the two man luge is well worn territory that hundreds of thousands of people have already trodden in much more amusing and less hideously offensive ways.

In fact the only utterances that have been offered up in opposition was an under the breath, tersely muttered “Shut up, shut up, shut up,” by long suffering wife Phyllis Wallen after the quote unquote love of her life offered up his views on the various sports under contention at the Olympics; namely that men’s figure skating, bobsled, the Nordic combined, the Danish people, and NBC analyst Dick Button were “gay”, “super gay”, “for gays, by gays”, “a gay pastry”, and “a homo” respectively.

Neighbors believe that unless Mr. Wallen relents in testing out his sub-CBS sitcom grade material, that the situation will devolve into an awkward situation where friends angrily confront him and throw him out of his own house, followed by a teary, angry coming out by his son, Danny Jr.

As of press time, Wallen seemed unaware of the mood of the room and cracked off a zinger about how the groin of one luger is touching the back/hindquarter area of another to the sound of his own guffaws.