Thursday, February 25, 2010

Governmental hilarity

Missed amongst all the the summit coverage is the simple fact that none of it would be necessary if the Democrats could, how should I phrase it... get of their fat lazy fucking asses and pass small tweaks to the bills they already fucking passed.

This fact does not seem to be lost on Nancy Pelosi, who has to pass the Senate bill, and Senator Kent Conrad, Chairman of the Budget Committee who is going to have to handle the reconciliation part of the tweaks the Senate is going to have to pass. But you see *laughs* there's just a *laughs* hilarious mix-em-up that's preventing it all from happening.
Democrats finally seem ready to act on health care reform, and for perhaps the first time in the entire year-long health care reform debate, they're speaking--openly--about the likelihood that they'll invoke the budget reconciliation process to make some tweaks to the Senate's health care bill. But there remains no clear path forward, with the House and Senate still jockeying over who will make the first move, and even Senate Democrats divided on how the process should work in their chamber and who among them gets to decide on it.

House Speaker Nancy Pelosi says she won't pass the Senate bill until the reconciliation process is complete. And Senate Budget Committee Chairman Kent Conrad (D-ND) says the Senate can't do reconciliation until after the House acts on the Senate bill.
I imagine the conversation goes some thing like..... "You got legislative peanut butter in my chocolate!" "No, you got legislative chocolate in my peanut butter!", then they both try to speak at the same time, do that whole "You speak" "No, you speak" thing for a few minutes, both end up speaking at the same time again, give up, then both attempt to walk away..... except they both step in the same direction, almost bump into each other, get stuck doing the whole "After you" "No, after you" thing, until hours later staffers have to come and physically remove them from the scene as they've devolved into simpering, weeping messes.

It would all be hilarious if it didn't effect tens of millions of people without health care, the hundreds of millions that need better access and cheaper prices, and a massive chunk of our economy.

So that's why Democrats can't move forward on health care. There's a charmingly befuddled argument over turf, who moves first, and whether Kent Conrad likes Nancy Pelosi or likes likes her. This is important shit people. Until they work out their sexual tension and basic fucking legislative procedure, you're just going to have to will yourself better or hope that money you buried in the back yard sprouts a money tree with which you can use to actually pay your skyrocketing premiums.

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