Exciting economic news!

Just when you thought the economy was surging to new heights and you'd finally be able to place an order for the platinum monocle, top hat, and spats you'll need as part of your wardrobe now that everyone has ascended to the top of the gilded class what with all these great new jobs we all got... think again. You know the drill; unending horror, plague of locusts, fire from the sky.

But at least it's a different kind of fire. Sure, it's mortgage failures, but on commercial real estate! Oooh, total curveball. And yes, it will imperil society, destroy small businesses, and hinder the economic recovery. Excuse me, economic "recovery." Why do you know you should be afraid? Because the warning are coming from Elizabeth Warren's Congressional Oversight Panel.

A huge wave of mortgage failures on commercial real estate could hit next year, causing banks to lose as much as $300 billion, imperiling lending for small businesses and hindering the economic recovery, a Congressional panel is warning.

In a report to be released on Thursday, the Congressional Oversight Panel... said commercial loan losses could jeopardize the stability of many banks, particularly the nation’s midsize and smaller banks, contributing to prolonged weakness throughout the economy.

The panel’s chairwoman, Elizabeth Warren, has been pressing the Treasury to compel thousands of banks to undergo stress tests like the ones that the Federal Reserve required of 19 of the country’s biggest financial institutions early last year. The Treasury secretary, Timothy F. Geithner, has called that idea impractical.

The signs are there: Elizabeth Warren saying something bad is on the horizon and coming up with a solution to head it off, Tim Geithner shrugging off the advice and the warning, and industry spokeswhores and lobbyists from organizations such as the Commercial Mortgage Securities Association and the Independent Community Bankers Association calling the reports and warnings exaggerated while touting the overall health and rock solid stability of the nation's banks.

I think we all know what that means: further economic collapse followed by complete societal destabilization and cannibalism. I've learned not to go against Warren when flesh reaving is on the line. So there are two options here: get used to the taste of human jerky or wait for Congress and the rest of our elected betters to act. I think we know how that's going to go. I'll get the teriyaki marinade and you get the meat smoker, I smell further banking collapse on the horizon. And mesquite smoke.