My God, what a stunner

Wait a minute, you mean to tell me that lawmakers and aides in one of the elected branches of the United States Government would be rife with crooks under investigation for various ethics violations and accusations of scumfuckery? I'm a little floored here at the revelation. I mean sure, breach of the public trust, throws a pall over the actions of government, rabble rabble rabble. But I'm talking about the real shockers here: the investigations aren't happening in the Senate and it's only 30 representatives.

House ethics investigators have been scrutinizing the activities of more than 30 lawmakers and several aides in inquiries about issues including defense lobbying and corporate influence peddling, according to a confidential House ethics committee report prepared in July.
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The 22-page "Committee on Standards Weekly Summary Report" gives brief summaries of ethics panel investigations of the conduct of 19 lawmakers and a few staff members. It also outlines the work of the new Office of Congressional Ethics, a quasi-independent body that initiates investigations and provides recommendations to the ethics committee. The document indicated that the office was reviewing the activities of 14 other lawmakers. Some were under review by both ethics bodies.

Christ, corruption stemming from the defense industry? I mean who would have ever thought that the goal of every military contractor to try to get every military piece of hardware built across as many Congressional districts as humanly possible, would result in undue influence and corruption? Seriously, what was it, like one guy? If you have Lockheed-Martin building something in your district you should be thrown in jail as a precautionary measure. But the defense industry money whores are easy pickens and low hanging fruit, just think of all the extra investigations the House panel can do because of this health care fight. Think of all the investigations the Senate panel can do. Evan Bayh and Joe Lieberman are already giving them plenty of material.

Those who are being investigated include nearly half the House Appropriations defense subcommittee, Charlie Rangel for "inconsistencies" with his and his family's finances, Jane Harman for "shenanigans" relating to Israeli "lobbyists", Maxine Waters for accidentally making sure that a small bank her husband owned stock in got a lucrative federal bailout. I mean sure, like all other ethics investigations, these will probably end with nothing happening or at best a mild censure. Because the basic function of the House and Senate ethics panels isn't to investigate and prosecute members, that would make things awkward in caucus meetings, the point is to have the appearance of looking into the matters that are so egregiously obvious that Congress is forced to act. Like basically everything John Murtha does.

Sorry for the inconvenience, leaked House crooks, I know this is supposed to end with a private words of consternation and the panel clearing you, not having this all pointed out in public by the Washington Post. Here's hoping you learn to keep your crookedness better hidden for the upcoming climate change debate.