I have an idea for a new themed pizza chain

Bernie Madoff is back in the news again as another civil lawsuit was filed against him, trying to get back all that money he stole. That's going to be a problem. If they want that money, they'll have to invent time travel, go back to 1975, outwit two streetwise toughs, infiltrate "a culture of sexual deviance", and then dig that money out of Bernie's nose.

Fallen financier Bernard Madoff has plunged from his Manhattan penthouse to the lower bunk of a cell he shares with a drug offender at a federal prison, where he eats pizza cooked by a child molester and hangs around with a mob boss and a convicted spy, according to legal papers filed Tuesday.
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According to the allegations – their source isn't specified – Madoff deployed an employee and to get drugs from 1975 to 2003, fueling an office so cocaine-laden insiders dubbed it "the North Pole." Office parties featured topless waitresses, employee affairs were common and Madoff kept a list of his favorite pretty masseuses in his personal phone book, the lawsuit said, claiming investors' money helped pay for it all.

I refuse to accept the possibility that coke and hookers were used to excess at any time on Wall Street. Still, I wonder if "the North Pole" was only a reference to cocaine part of the drug fueled orgies. God I hope not.

Still I'd like to know the context of the whole "eats pizza cooked by a child molester" thing. Is that a reference to how far he's fallen, a "Look at what he's been reduced to" type thing? Or is it more of a "Haw haw" type thing? Because if it's the former, I reject the notion that child molester pizza is a bad thing. I mean if you want to lure children you have to get them with things they like, namely pizza. The man can probably whip up a good pie, not to mention chicken fingers and grilled cheeses. That's a benefit Madoff is getting.

In any event that entire story is full of win. Stealing billions to fuel drug and sex parties, hanging out with mobsters and Israeli agents, fight club, a kid diddler making pizzas piled high with pepperoni, and I'm sure he's being invited to all kinds of prison sex parties as well. His life is still better than all the people he bankrupted.